Dental Dreams: Lawsuit Edition?

To my esteemed readership of 3: I dearly apologize for my lack of updates.  Life's been rather busy lately.

I've had a few bizarre dental dreams in the weeks since my last update; however, last night's was so very peculiar that I felt I compelled to update now, before I undoubtedly forget the events that transpired in dreamland.

Last night's dental dream involved a lawsuit.  That isn't where it started, of course.  It started with an unlikely scenario in which my sister and I were inexplicably being pursued by a t-rex.  It was terrifying, but it was also sort of badass since we were miraculously managing to outrun it.

Unfortunately, even in dreams, dinosaurs have a lot more stamina than humans.  The t-rex managed to catch up with us, at which point he did what any self-respecting t-rex would do: start ripping into our flesh with his powerful jaws and teeth.  I guess it's probably a stretch to classify this as one of my dental dreams, because it didn't involve my own teeth.  However, the vivid and terrifying image of the dream t-rex's enormous, gaping maw looming over me--gleaming with hundreds of jagged teeth--is indelibly burned into my mind.

My sister and I survived the ordeal, but came out of it rather brutally maimed. At this point, the dream suddenly fast-forwarded to what, in real life, probably would have been several months in the future.  We were in a courtroom; apparently, my sister had decided to seek justice through the legal system.  I was confused at first, but then it hit me: we were suing the dinosaur.  I became very alarmed by this, loudly insisting, "You can't file a lawsuit against a t-rex! Seriously!" No one else appeared to agree with me; the entire courtroom responded to my outburst a mixture of incredulous and baffled stares.

I woke up soon after that, but not before catching a glimpse of a t-rex in a suit.  I guess even dinosaurs clean up nicely for court.

So that was Dental Dreams: Lawsuit Edition.

Freaking About Dental Insurance

Another night, another addition to my collection of bizarre dental dreams.

In this dream, my teeth were aching very badly. Every single one. The pain was almost unbearable, as though my teeth were clenched on a rock and unable to let go to several days. This development was highly distressing to Dream Me due to the fact that, like Actual Me, she apparently does not possess dental insurance.

Dream Me was debating whether or not to see a dentist anyway, in spite of the lack of coverage. My ex-boyfriend, who of course was there for no reason, kept pestering me to go until we started fighting.  The fight was both physical and verbal, and the stress of it caused my teeth to hurt even more.

The worst part was that our fight took place outside, right in view of these two douchey, judgmental hipsters. Clearly failing to recognize the seriousness of the altercation, the douche hipsters thought this would be the opportune time to bring up that my car was parked in their parking space; consequently, they had nowhere to park their Prius. Dream Me found this to be very obnoxious, as she was pretty certain that our Dream Apartment Complex did not have any assigned parking spaces.

When I woke up, my teeth were clenched very hard and aching like nobody's business. I wondered if perhaps this dental dream was symbolic of the fact that it's about time I purchased some dental insurance. A few more years of dreams like this, and I'm going to need it.

The Meaning of Teeth Dreams

As I mentioned in my inaugural post, extensive research* has led me to the surprising realization that dreams about teeth are remarkably prevalent. In fact, according to some highly reputable sites, dreams in which one's teeth are falling out are among the most common dreams that people have.  But the question remains: What do they mean?

Internet goons have numerous theories on the meaning of dreams in which the subject loses his or her teeth.  I shall attempt to assemble and elaborate on the various interpretations of these dental dreams for you, the (one, single) reader. 

1) Appearance anxiety/insecurity.  When compiling a list of what makes a person attractive, teeth may not immediately come to mind.  However, a person's smile is often the first thing we notice about them; and we certainly react with disgust (or at least some mildly insensitive laughter) at the sight of missing or crooked teeth.  Thus, it is believed that dental dreams involving the loss of teeth can signify anxiety or insecurity about our appearance.  This could be a subconscious manifestation of one's fear of aging, as the inevitable loss of our youth and beauty is something many people worry about. We may not consciously express these fears, however; so next time you have one of these dreams, you can wake up feeling insecure about whether or not you feel insecure about yourself.

2) Feelings of helplessness or powerlessness. In our day-to-day lives, our teeth assist us in a wide variety of empowering tasks: talking, eating, tearing open ketchup packets or ripping into the flesh of our opponents. (As illustrated by the mighty tyrannosaurus rex, teeth can be formidable weapons.) In dreams, teeth are often considered a symbol of power and aggressiveness. Thus, it follows that dental dreams in which we lose teeth could signify feelings of helplessness or a loss of power. Power struggles are a common element of the human existence, so it would make sense that this is something we'd worry about subconsciously. I wonder if t-rexes ever had such dreams?

3) Major changes in life. Any significant life change--even a good one--is accompanied by a sense of loss. Much like the loss of one's baby teeth marks the transition from youth to slightly older youth, the loss of teeth in a dream could be symbolic of an equally significant, life-altering transition. Perhaps you're nervous about a new job, anxiously awaiting your upcoming wedding or in shock over the death of a loved one? Whether this major life change is occurring presently or still yet to come, you can rest assured that dental dreams will be there to further unsettle you, night after night.

4) You'sa people gonna die. The loss of teeth being symbolic of death is a recurring theme throughout history. In ancient Greece, it was believed that dental dreams involving the loss of teeth were a sign that someone close to you would soon become sick or die.  Similarly, in the 2003 smash hit, Darkness Falls, an evil spirit takes the form of the tooth fairy and starts murdering people one by one. Coincidence? You decide.

Frankly, I'm a bit skeptical of the idea that dreams have some symbolic or premonitory meaning. After all, science tells us that dreams are nothing more than the result of neurons firing off at random, and your brain creatively attempting to form a narrative from the resulting (perceived) sensory input. But, perhaps it's not completely out of the question to assume that the narrative choices your brain makes are influenced by what you're thinking about while conscious.  What do you think?

*Yeah, that's right. I Googled that bitch.